Well, schoolwork has again taken priority in my life, when I’m taking AP classes I seem to have no time at all– however, this is Thanksgiving weekend so I can blog about that and everything else under the sun, too… Provided I rake leaves, vaccuum, clean my room, clean the bathroom, clean the kitchen, and practice piano…

Anyway, I want to get Combat Boots up and running soon– I don’t think I’ve talked about that a lot, if at all– that will be my political commentary blog– don’t think about reading it if you get offended easily. ^^;

I suppose that’s because I really, really, really want to blog on the election, on Orrin Hatch and the RIAA and everything else going on right, Goss and all that. I have a lot to say and I need to start saying it soon.

Anyway, I’m at school, during lunch, hoping that I can make a Christmas layout during the long weekend and upload that, getting it done, and update link and all of that good stuff.

More to do with it, my ex-boyfriend is now trying to kill himself. He has Type 1 brittle diabetes, meaning that it’s a genetic thing and not from obesity, and its a dangerous condition. Absolutely destroys the kidneys, liver, etc. When we were together I used to get visit him in the hospital. He’s now in the hospital for not controlling his blood sugar, getting self-destructive and trying to end it all. At my friend Claire’s recent birthday party, she shared that she didn’t wish to be his friend anymore– she was his best friend– because he was getting self-destructive and being a jerk– not just to be but to everyone. She didn’t want to have to deal with that, and she shouldn’t. He doesn’t need a savior right now, he needs to get it together by himself. Claire, Val, and I… We’ve picked up after him when he got like this– self-destructive. This past year, with me, he was doing so well– keeping up after his health, in school. It looked like he had done a 180. That’s why I was with him, because he was mentally healthy at that time, and I loved that person who was okay with himself and the world.

But that ended. He went back to that dark world, because he’s afraid of the light, so to speak. And Claire was his savior, I was his savior– but he doesn’t need that, because humans are imperfect, and they don’t do too well on pedestals. So, he becomes disillusioned and begans to hate himself again. And the best thing that I, that Claire and anyone else can do for him (are you reading this, Jessica?) are to let him slide. Because the only way this cycle is going to end is if he will pick up after himself. He has to stand on his own. Because the minute someone else takes responsibility for his life, he won’t anymore. He’ll let that person carry his burden. That’s unhealthy. And anyway, this girl Jessica (who will hate me if she actually reads this), wants to pick that up, to become the person who will stop this calamity. Don’t. It’s not right, for you or for him, Jessica. Because you’re looking for something in yourself, and you won’t find it in him, and by helping him you are trying to feel needed, well, it’s something you aren’t prepared for. And you will wreak havoc, and you will cause more pain than you will alleviate. Because I know. I’ve been there. And because of that, I’m tell you: no. This isn’t about you, as much as you deny it or wish it to be. So don’t go someplace where you don’t belong. This is a job for a therapist. Not someone with their own poor emotional health and intelligence.